kill your parents.

i've been doing tons of shit. look at all this shit i've been doing!

not reminding myself i know how to play the piano, not eating junk-food, buying a yoga mat i actually use, losing weight, losing more weight, not being an alcoholic, making well-educated reputable decisions regarding future purchases within the relentless and soul-crushing fixed-interest economy, playing golf horribly AND earning awful fucking tan-lines, getting phone numbers, cleaning my apartment, brushing up on the atheism question to where it becomes an almost undisputable certainty, relinquishing my position as "boss of the box", getting over myself and others and finally coming to terms with the fact that i should just buck up and buy myself a nice cell phone, not selling t-shirts for friends on the east-coast, "you live in a web of lies!!!", making a new playlist for the noisy cricket, planning to embark on a soul-searching earth-shattering life-changing trip in the not-so-near future to a far away land of enchantment and wonder while quietly ignoring how said trip will be paid for- all along looking to steer clear of any type of gainful employment, not talking to parents... then talking to parents, not doing drugs - then doing drugs - to talk about how we won't do drugs again - and then doing drugs - if only a little bit, going to red rocks at extravagant prices, really stepping it up with netflix, losing my hair boldly and without anxiety, avoiding bachelors, making camping plans with the male members of the great longman family of the fairly central midwest (pending), smokebomb and panic leave, not giving two fucks about what happened to you or what you're doing, crushing italy in FIFA as the red menace, listening to the rapture... a lot, reading adbusters, making plans for weddings, dismissing plans for weddings, whole-heartedly accepting promotions, REALLY wasting time on vice, no longer waiting on others - YOU DECIDE YOUR OWN LEVEL OF INVOLVEMENT, not being lonely - yet alone, more lying, getting old, finding new bars to go to, not getting laid, web of lies!, so many shows, relinquishing bartender status due to irresponsible decisions regarding alcohol drug use and sexual intercourse with - as Josh puts it - 'crazy sluts who may or may not share a common employer', re-claiming bartending status, celebrating graduations openly and privately, preparing for awesome visits from my mom - the only reliable woman in my life - save my ex-cat, purchasing plane tickets, slowly climbing out of debt, taking dave up on his offer to 'get pissed' for AC Milan/Liverpool, paying parking tickets and renewing car registration, finding that one great book on botany that's going to set this whole tattoo thing into motion, sending text messages like i'm in 7th grade again, ignoring jealously while whole-heartedly recognizing why it's there, pre-emptive splash pass purchases prior to opening day, letting the whole 9-11 thing go away a bit - if only because matt taibbi is a fucking genius, having amazing sexual intercourse, talking tons of shit worth talking, falling in love with emma de caunes to where i feel a letter to naomi watts is not only necessary but vital to our eventual and short-lived friendship, silently promising to keep my kids in my yard if you keep your kids in yours, going on dates, gettin' that money, supporting Seth Bruce in his decision to live as Geopetto would have lived if he were an entrepreneur within the slightly competitive skate-shoe industry, buying folding chairs from big lots so we can fervently embark upon wine-cooler wednesday barbecues in the side yard, giving up on people worth giving up on, making progress?, making five-disc mixtapes for my family, not getting fitted for suit/tuxedo/whatever (come on guy, it's raining balls right now) and then eventually getting fitted for a tux after chain-smoking around cherry creek dressed like a hobo, not actually playing music.

not really.

yep. it could be anything.

grocery lists of this sort usually point to a giant lapse in a life where very little was actually 'accomplished', 'happening' or 'going on'.

oh and uh... stuff? or rather... 'news' and stuff? contrary to the economist on my coffee table... i know nothing. i read as much/as little as the next guy, and i can tell you about events and what some people say about what some guy may have said, but do i really understand it?

no.

still, of things of note, this is one of them: this guy matt taibbi whines near or at the same frequency regarding politics that i do. best thing i've read in awhile. but again, it's not much more than complaining. even rupert murdoch has an agenda. care? google it up. http://www.alternet.org/authors/6535/ ...i'm not coding that shit.

in a nutshell, several students were shot a while ago, queensryche is still touring, steve irwin is still dead because homeboy was fucking with nature for YEARS... AND there are still way too many of US over THERE. what's the difference between a 'terrorist', an 'insurgent' and a guy who's just pissed off because you moved into his house and won't leave? are all the assailants necessarily 'terrorists'? aren't the attacks really sporadic and/or suicidal in nature? that hardly qualifies as a smoking gun.

other news... the stove palace. i no longer have the hottest after-hours bar in denver. never really did... it'd be egomaniacal to say the least... sorry kids. i'm broke. the stove-palace will re-surface sometime in october... which means? yeah... the only place i've lived in colorado for more than two years. this is not the worst that could happen. hate blogs? more of the same to come... still, i was in the lower highlands (oxymoron?) the other day and we might do some minor home-hunting before the lease must be renewed. who cares? i do. fuck you. plus, albrecht, sommerfield and grossman are going to be living in the same house this summer and that tornado threesome will provide much more hijinx than gabe smith and boogie combined... hike it up kids.

my albums of 2006 were made by the architects, thom yorke and others who released their albums circa '76, '84 and '92. i don't care what you're listening to. reciprocate.

also, the duke spirit may be the best soundtrack to apathy ever known. and a new record? holy underwear.

in random news... my brother, as 'news' editor of the high school paper, would frequently push for more 'Obits' in his section- something of a joke really- to the point where the "Northwest Passage" was more of a dedication to 'our fallen heroes of entertainment' rather than anything actual or newsworthy. like me, he enjoyed the design aspect of working for a publication- as opposed to the actual content therein... plus, he found that it was more expensive to run stories worth reading, as our school didn't have the wherewithal to accomodate for such- AP photos of celebrities are much cheaper than, say, an off-the-wire black and white of President Musharraf (spelinng maye be offf herr). I suppose we could've ran stories without pertinent photos... lest we forget our audience. not sure why i brought that up, but it's kind of my understanding of how lohan and hilton beat out obama in every unimportant media poll ever conducted.

seriously though... iran? really? north korea has a junked-out dictator who may or may not be constructing a deathstar out of plutonium and legos, but we're more concerned about a goat-herder and his science fair? giuliani is stoked. i'm sure there's legitimate concern, but why don't we worry about the people of the world who still want to deal with 'the jewish problem' or invade taiwan/taipei so their kids can have jordache jeans and car stereos.

in a related story, vincent gallo's sperm is STILL for sale on his website for a cool million. if you haven't seen this shit yet... wow. scroll. read. or the next part doesn't make sense... "Mr. Gallo does not want to be part of that type of integration." bare with me here... so maybe one day you find a fallen angel in the woods with a thorn in his foot and in exchange for pulling it out, he shares with you the 'truth' about the past, present and future letting you know that everything has always been fucked, things are fucked now and things are only going to get more fucked. so what would you do with this new found understanding? try to assemble a coalition of the willing to save the universe? or would you cast yourself in your own pornographic film with indie-actresses, in-between video appearances with Jay-Z and Rick Rubin? Vincent knows something we don't and isn't telling, but most of all, this guy doesn't give a fuck.

the end... now on to the other thing...

* * *
first and foremost, i'm a liar. this is still on it's way, but i wrote something about it first like it was/were complete... and i think that's funny. i'm still surprised that of all the things i catch shit for, no one tells me that i never finish ANYTHING... this is only more of the same. in quotations no less...

"about the list:

i hate best of 'whatever' lists because i hate organziation and deadlines. plus there's way too many parameters. i'm going to write about whatever fucking record i feel like. some of the shit on here might be repeats of shit i've already railed about earlier in the same blog. verbatim. why? basically i'm lazy. BUT! i do like lists. alphanumeric or otherwise. after re-reading this a few times, i'm also pretty sure i really like talking shit.

so yeah. it's long. and prepped. godspeed."

yeah it's not done. give it time. or... here's a taste...

"wolfmother - stupid. every time i hear 'woman' i want to cut my dick off."

expect more of the same.

that's it.

felt like putting something up.

stay tuned. get fucked.

+S